Pilgrimage Ponderings
The Waiting Game
This is the week that our bishop and district superintendents meet to make appointments. Pastors and their families who expect to be moving in June are waiting with baited breath to hear where they will be going.
As part of a parsonage family, I have thought a lot about what folks in congregations who have never moved may take for granted about living in the same place for a very long time. Some of the things that really annoy me when we move are very small, but become big when they are all added together.
One of my pet peeves is finding someone to cut my hair that I really like. I usually find a place and hope there is someone there who I like. Then I just "settle" for several years before I work up the nerve to try a new place. It takes me about 4 years to find the right person to cut my hair. My mom has had the same person cut her hair for about 30 years. I don't have that luxury.
Another annoying thing is when you have to change your main grocery store and consequently to learn a completely different layout. It takes a lot of energy to remember where things are in a new grocery store and a long time before you don't go looking according to the previous store's layout.
And then there's the reality that you learn how to get to places from your new home, but when you are out and about, you don't necessarily know how to get to Point A from Point D, unless you backtrack to your one known path. It really does take months, if not years, to be able to drive around town without thinking about where you are going and the quickest way to get there.
Perhaps the hardest thing for me is the feeling I have as the "preacher's wife" that everyone is hoping I'll be just like their favorite preacher's wife from days gone by. I sometimes wonder if anyone ever sees me for who I am rather than some ideal picture of what I can do for their church. The problem with that ideal picture, is that I have no idea what it looks like. So sometimes I walk around feeling as if people are expecting me to be something, but I haven't the faintest idea what they are expecting.
It takes time and energy to get to know a new place and to get to know new people, especially when they have known each other their whole lives. But the first step in the process is finding out where that new place and new people will be.
And that's why this is an anxious week for a lot of folks.
Brenda Curtis: As a fellow "preacher's wife", I relate 100% to what you are saying. In addition, there are doctors, dentists, etc. and making sure everyone has your new address and phone number. A DS once told me I did not need to be "who they expected", just myself. Well, that sounds good, but sometimes does not work out so simply. I love our life in the ministry but some of the challenges, not so much! (03/25/08)
Sudie: I cannot imagine all the difficulties that you face involving moving and the uncertainty of moving from year to year. as for other people's expectations, they should be pleasantly surprised when they take time to know the "real" you. I am sure that you are more wonderful than they could have possibly imagined. Because you are so wonderfully perfect just the way you are. Love you! (03/28/08)