Pilgrimage Ponderings
Is it True?
I was discussing with some folks tonight what they think young people who don't go to church think about the church. Their answer was that young people not in the church think that church is boring. They think that they can't be themselves in church because they must behave a certain way that is very "stiff."
So I am asking myself if these hypothetical young people are right. I do think it's true that some church people think that they can't be themselves while they are at church. I have often found it a little funny that people think that God only sees how they behave when they are in God's house, but not when they are out and about the rest of the week. I also know that I have regular conversations with my three sons about why I think it is important to wear nice clothes to church. I have tried to explain that when I am dressed differently than my everyday clothes, I have sent my mind a message to sit up and take notice, because today is an out-of-the-ordinary day. And I want to remember that it is extraordinary to gather with the community of faith to praise and worship God.
If left to themselves, however, all three of my boys would most of the time wear whatever clothes they could find without putting forth too much effort on a Sunday morning. And I will admit that I often bite my tongue about what they wear, telling myself that what's important is that they want to go to church. I do want them to feel at home at church, and if making an issue about what they wear makes them feel like they can't be themselves, then I don't want to make their clothing an issue.
So, what do you think? Is church boring? Are people "stiff?" Is it true that you can't really be yourself at church?
Eric Helms: Yes. As much as we would like to think our churches are fully sanctified communities who car only about worshiping God in diverse ways with other God worshipers, they are actually filled with people who for better or worse have deeply held assumptions about what it means to "do church well." Anyone who does not fit the mold at any given church, whether it be because of age, worship style, or what people wear, will feel uncomfortable being themselves. (04/08/08)