Pilgrimage Ponderings
Letting Go
"Letting go" has been on my mind this week. I was discussing with a friend that one of the hardest things about parenting is giving your children space to make their own decisions, even when you would choose differently for them. I am finding this reality to be particularly true with teenagers. I want my teenage son to make the choices that I want for him. Yet, he has taught me over the years that I cannot make him want the same things I want for him!
My job at this stage of his life, it seems, is to be there to listen, to clearly articulate my thoughts and concerns, and to be available to help him pick up the pieces and learn from his mistakes when things go awry. On my better days, I celebrate that my son is a unique individual who is learning to navigate his own path in life. If I were to try to control him and make him into the person I want him to be, perhaps there would not be room for me to see what God is shaping him to become.
Yesterday, our Order of Deacons met to engage in a process of discernment regarding who is to be the next chair of our order. As the current chair of the order, I have been pondering how to best support a smooth transition to new leadership. And I am finding some parallels between letting go of this role and letting go of my growing son.
If I try to control what happens next with our covenant community, I could possibly get in the way of what God wants us to become, what new things God wants to teach us in our life together. My role is to be a supportive presence, and a reminder that God will be with us throughout these transitions. I recognize that it will be easier said than done to function in this way.
One of the steps in the discernment process is called "shedding." In this step, individuals ask themselves, "What is it that I need to let go of or set aside in order to be indifferent to everything but the will of God?" It occurs to me that this question is a very helpful one to think about in all of life. In my case, I think it will be helpful to me as I assume a new role within the life of our community.
Perhaps many folks would benefit from reflecting on this question when navigating the transitions and changes that come in life.
Jean: Thank you for a good experience in discernment as we looked to the future as the Order of Deacons. I continually find shedding to be the hardest part of of this process. To be trite - let go, let God - can be difficult and I am still meditating about that. However, I think Bobbie is just who we need at this time. Now, as a mother of two adult sons, I remember the days you are having. Blessings to all. (01/20/07)