Pilgrimage Ponderings
Spent for the Gospel
I believe in self-care. I believe in striving toward balance in all areas of life. I want to be healthy, to eat wholesome and nutritious food, to exercise and get enough sleep, to keep the sabbath and to have meaningful, intimate relationships with friends and family members. And I believe that part of the abundant life Jesus promised includes all of the above.
I also strive to pray (and mean it) the words of the Wesleyan Covenant Prayer: "Let me be used by thee or laid aside for thee, exalted by thee or brought low by thee." Forgive me if I have the words wrong--I'm going by memory here. And whenever I pray that prayer, I am convicted once again that the Christian walk is an all-or-nothing journey. There's nothing balanced about this prayer!
I've heard that once upon a time, there was little need to see to the retirement concerns of Methodist circuit riding preachers. Most of them didn't live very long, because they wore themselves out preaching the Gospel. We might even call them workaholics today.
Anthony, one of the first Desert Fathers, as a young man was in worship when he heard the Gospel being read. It was the story of the rich young ruler, and he felt as if the words, "Go, sell all that you have, and give it to the poor" were meant specifically for him. And so he did. He gave away all that he had and went out in the desert to live and to learn to pray and to love God and his neighbor. This life was not what I would call a balanced life.
Anthony, the circuit riders, and John Wesley, it seems to me, lived lives of selfless devotion to Jesus Christ. They poured themselves out to share God's love.
I do believe in wellness and I want wholeness and balance in my life. I also want at the end of my life to be utterly spent for Jesus's sake. I'm just not sure how to have both.
