Pilgrimage Ponderings
The Difference Between To, For, and With
Funny how those small prepositions can make such a huge difference in a person's perspective.
One of my work responsibilities is to help congregations understand and work through a process called Natural Church Development. This process begins with the congregation assessing how they are doing with respect to eight "quality characteristics" that healthy congregations have in common. They generate a church profile that shows their strengths and weaknesses. The area that needs the most work is called the minimum factor.
Many congregations in our conference are finding that their minimum factor is "needs-oriented evangelism." Some of these congregations are very mission minded and do a surprising amount of charitable work in their communities. They are often surprised at this being their minimum factor because they see themselves as doing a reasonably good job of meeting needs around them.
When we begin to talk in depth about the issue, some common themes begin to emerge. Many congregations get great satisfaction in being able to give something to persons in need or to do something for them. But when we discuss how often we find ourselves in the company of folks who have no church relationship, and how many times we work to form relationships with people who are different than we are, folks are less positive about the work they are doing.
And when we begin to talk about how a congregation handles change, or how folks from a different background (economically, ethnically, or even with respect to having a faith heritage to draw from) will be received and incorporated into congregational life, the proverbial "light bulbs" go on.
I suppose it is human nature to be drawn toward people who are like us, and to be hesitant about connecting with folk who we perceive to be different. But it seems to me that there a couple of questions that we Christians need to wrestle with. First of all, do we really think that people need a relationship with Jesus Christ? Because if we do, then we will want to share our faith on occasion even if it sometimes makes us uncomfortable.
Another question I think we need to wrestle with is this: What does it mean to be in relationship with people who are different than we are? If we are focused on what we can do for them and what we have to offer to them, and that's all, is it really a relationship? It seems to me that a relationship is defined by mutuality. And that means that if it is genuine, we need to reflect not only on what we have to offer folks, but also on what they have to offer us. When we genuinely strive to form relationships with people who are different than we are, it changes us. We have to rethink some of the things we have always thought to be certainties. We have to make room in our hearts and minds for strange attitudes and ideas if we genuinely care for the other person.
There's a world of difference between "to," "for," and "with." I give thanks that Jesus wanted to be in ministry with us, that he came to be with us, and that his spirit remains with us even now.
