Pilgrimage Ponderings
A Puzzling Conversation
Yesterday morning, during the communion ritual, my 10-year-old son leaned over to me and said, "Mom, why do we have to say this if it's not true?" He was pointing to the prayer of confession, which goes like this:
Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart. We have failed to be an obedient church. We have not done your will, we have broken your law, we have rebelled against your love, we have not loved our neighbors, and we have not heard the cry of the needy. Forgive us, we pray. Free us for joyful obedience, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
As I quickly reviewed the words, I could think of several times in the last week where I thought my son would find the words, "we have broken your law, we have rebelled against your love" to be true. Specifically, I caught him in a lie the day before, and he was rebelliously insistent that I, not he, was the problem. (Clearly, I misunderstood what he had said!) So I have been puzzling over his whispered question since he whispered it.
My reflections lead me to think about how much my son loves church. He looks forward to going to Sunday school and worship. He hugs and greets friends and strangers alike during the Passing of the Peace. And I suppose from one perspective, if you looked at his heart and his behavior from the time he woke up until the time we bowed our heads to confess, he may not have had anything from which to repent. And in his 10-year-old eyes, his church is wonderful and faithful. He is oblivious to the brokenness that people bring with them into worship, and he is blessedly ignorant of the congregation's missed opportunities to be the church God is calling it to be.
While none of my sons, and this one in particular, can claim to be humble or modest (remember his insistence that I was the reason he was in trouble for lying!), my 10-year-old has what I would call a well-developed spiritual sense. So I find myself wondering if others in the congregation ask the same question about confession and perhaps have a similar view of their congregation. I am quite puzzled, and I suppose I will be pondering this whole issue for awhile.
